Tuesday, June 16, 2009

my ankle

When I was about 2, my Mom, older sister and I were in an old grocery store shopping. The sodas used to be in glass bottles, in wooden crates, stacked up with plastic that rolled up when you picked up a crate. My sister pulled on the tolled up plastic, the hot sodas came tumbling down and exploded. My mom was pregnant with my little sister and they were very worried about her, but I think she just had little cuts on her legs. I needed five stitches in the area around my ankle. Well, I found out while I was in graduate school that the accident was th reason my feet looked so different from each other. A muscle was cut and not sewn back together properly, so I have one flat foot. It was no a big deal, but some shoes didn't fit well and I always got blisters on the bottom of my foot with certain shoes. I could deal with all of that, but about a year after Number One Son was born, my ankle started hurting. After a month or so of hobbling around, I went to the doctor and the x-ray was normal. I continued to grin and bear it, gain all the weight back that I lost after Number One Son was born and remain ever-so-hopeful that it would get better. It did feel better when I wore my Birkenstocks (I have several pairs) or when I was pregnant. When Number One Daughter was about 2, I went back to the doctor, he thought it was a cyst on my ankle, so I went to an orthopedic surgeon. He said it was from the accident from when I was a baby and gave me a prescription for insoles. They helped, but I was hoping for no-pain. I am allergic to the OTC pain relievers that would help, so I just hobble along, some days are better than others. I went back last week to see if there was anything else to do. He changed to prescription so I need to make an appointment to have my insoles adjusted. Smart Puppy chewed up my sandals, so my Mom gave me a pair of new ones that she had recently bought (my new, post 3 babies size). I am praying to be more optimistic and hopeful. Surgery is not an option at this point (and may never be). I would like to remember what it was like to walk and every step not hurt. I've gained over 20 pounds and my kids are not as active as I wish we could be because, honestly, I can't keep up.

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