Mother Mary, help me

My 9 year old daughter's behavior has been a challenge to manage for some time. From her birth until now, she was very particular. There comes a point where she needs to just do what I say, when I say it because it is best for her and the family. I am so tired of the conflict. It is depressing. Her behaviors escalate when she eats a sensitive or allergic food and she has been on a roll this past week. I just do not understand, I would have never spoken to my parents the way she does. I do not ignore her words or actions, there are consequences, but those consequences seem to punish me with incessant repetitious wining and the behaviors continue. She can be so cold and outright mean. We, as a family, avoid situations where we know she will have a fit. It is just not with the fight. It is better to stay at home rather than to be embarrassed (or absolutely mortified).
This week I mentioned to a friend how sick our usually healthy family had been. She asked what I had been doing to aggravate the devil. I have no idea! If anything, I have fallen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.